LIfe Coaching Conversations with Ryan: Responding to Crisis

When a crisis occurs, it has the ability to turn order into chaos.  It can make a calm rational person act frantically and erratically.  

Although we cannot control when a crisis happens, we can control how we respond to it. 

In today's life coaching conversation, I give a short story on how responding positively to crisis helped me to effectively lead a team.   

#lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifecoachingtips #lifecoaching101 #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #fyp #motivation #motivational #leader #leaders #crisis #crisismanagement 

Life Coaching Conversations with Ryan: Adapt & Change

We all experience a wide range of transitions that lead to new stages of our lives.  You might be going through one right now.  In order to make those transitions easy on us, we find ways to adapt and change to our new environment.  But are adapting and changing the same thing?  Find out in today's life coaching conversation!  

#lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifecoachingtips #lifecoaching101 #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #fyp #motivation #motivational #leader #leaders #adapting #changing #adapt #change

Life Coaching Conversations with Ryan: Why Words Matter

I'm sure that at some point, many of us have been told by our parents or teachers that our words matter and we have to be careful of what we say.  But has that advice ever really stuck?  Have you had first hand experience of the impact of those words?  In today's life coaching conversation, I share a personal story on the importance of why words matter and how those words can resonate for years. 

#lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifecoachingtips #lifecoaching101 #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #fyp #motivation #motivational #leader #leaders #wordsmatter

Life Coaching Tips with Ryan: Leadership Response to Failure

 Life Coaching Tips with Ryan: Leadership Response to Failure 

Today's tip has an emphasis on leadership and another on failure but with a different perspective.  At some point we all experience failure and it is our resilience that helps not only when experience failure but in how we choose to respond to it and use that failure to encourage and inspire others. 

#lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifecoachingtips #lifecoaching101 #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #fyp #motivation #motivational #leader #leaders #failure 

Life Coaching Tips with Ryan: Feedback vs. Criticism

Today’s quick tip is another with a focus on leadership. At some point we all receive and/or give others feedback or criticism. Which one do you prefer? Is one better than the other? Find out in today’s tip!

#lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifecoachingtips #lifecoaching101 #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #fyp #motivation #motivational #leader #leaders #feedback #criticism

Life Coaching Tips with Ryan: Measuring Success

Success is something we all hope to achieve.  But how do we know if we’ve achieved it?  Find out in today’s tip! 

#lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifecoachingtips #lifecoaching101 #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #fyp #motivation #motivational #leader #leaders #success #achievement 

Life Coaching Tips with Ryan: Complements

So today’s tip is another with a focus on leadership development - more specifically for those that are in leadership or supervisory type roles.  

I’m sure many of us have heard the saying that “opposites attract.”  Well when we apply that statement to group and leadership settings rather than just personal relationships, we can see just how much that statement can change the dynamic of a group.  

#lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifecoachingtips #lifecoaching101 #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #fyp #motivation #motivational #leader #leaders

 

No One Trusts Anyone Anymore

 Trust is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person's actions. 

- Charles Feltman

I came across this definition of trust that really stuck with me.  It really puts what trust is on a personal level.  

Why am I writing about trust in this blog post? 

A couple of days ago I was at Sea World.  As a pass member I'm giving free guest passes into the park but they do expire.  My guest pass was expiring and I didn't want it to go to waste.  So I went to the park and figured I could give out my pass to anyone who was interested.  

Now Sea World is an expensive park.  An adult ticket costs nearly 100 dollars.  I thought this was going to be easy giving this ticket away. 

I was wrong.

I was very particular with who I wanted to give my ticket to.  I thought the free ticket would benefit someone with a large family or a single parent with their kid.  The first few people I had asked were already pass members trying to redeem their free pass so no luck.  As I started to ask other people, they would give me a dirty look or brush me off real quick.  

Maybe my approach was wrong.  

I asked if anyone wanted a free ticket but that didn't work because it was mostly pass members.  So I changed my approach and asked if anyone was buying a ticket with my intention being they didn't have to buy a ticket since I had a free one.  I still got looks of annoyance from people.  It almost felt as if they thought I was trying to scam them or wanting to someone to buy a ticket for me.  I don't think I looked shady at all.  I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, a hat and sunglasses; typical for for a day at the park. 

I tried for almost a half hour to give away this free ticket. 

I eventually was able to give my ticket away to a family.  The dad went into the park with me since I had to accompany my guest.  I was telling him how I was having a difficult time giving the ticket away.  I said people probably thought I was trying to scam them.  His response was simply: 

"No one trusts anyone anymore." 

There was something so genuine about his response.  What struck me more was there was no hint of bitterness or jadedness.  It was simply a matter of fact. 

Maybe I was a bit bitter because I was giving away a free ticket.  Surely someone could trust me.  I don't even look untrustworthy. 

But somewhere along the way, many of us have lost our trust in people.  

When did that happen?  Why did that happen?   Is it only strangers we don't trust or does that extend to friends, family, co-workers?  

So I go back to that quote I began this post with.  

Trust is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person's actions. 

I think we all want to trust.  When we open ourselves up to trust, we our inviting someone in.  We all crave that human connection and trust is how we do that.  

We are taking something we value, something that makes up who we are and we are trusting that person with it.  We trust they won't use it against us.  We trust they won't ruin it.  We trust they will treat it with care and respect.  

Trust is actually easy to give but even easier to break.  I think this is where the bitterness and jadedness come in.  Time and time again trust is given but then its broken.  

Maybe a friend told a secret by accident.  Maybe a family member forgot to pick you up from a party.  Maybe your staff member forgot to show up to their shift.  There are so many micro events that build up and create distrust.  

My hope is that we can learn to build up our trust again.  If someone loses our trust, it doesn't mean we can't trust again.  Every circumstance is different.  Every person is different.  We don't have to be distrustful of other people.  We just have to learn and have faith in ourselves so that our resilience can still show us that we can still trust.  

Courage

I recently came back from a two week trip to Europe.  It was a much needed break from life.  It was also a much needed boost to refresh my mind and bring me back to calm and happiness.  

That's what travel does to a person and that's why I always advocate for people to take a break from life and find a way to recharge and revitalize.  It doesn't have to be an international trip.  It just has to be something that lets you escape for however long you need.  

I wrote about all this in my "Wanderlust" post a few months back so I won't rehash that again.  But I did want to talk about the one thing that I'm always reminded of when I travel.  My courage. 

Going to another country is always scary.  Although this was my third trip, I am always nervous since I'm in a country without full knowledge of the language which makes it hard to communicate.  But it's through this fear that I'm able to discover my courage.  

It's through fear of the unknown that we all can find our courage.  

I don't think many of us know just how strong our minds are or how much resilience we actually possess. 

Sometimes it's our fear that keeps us from succeeding or even just trying.  

If you manage to fail, then you've already conquered that fear because your courage allowed you to move forward.  

You might even discover something about yourself that you never knew you had.  

The first time I traveled internationally I was alone.  I didn't know the language and I didn't know the city.  I had to trust that I was going to be OK.  I had to trust that I had the courage to find my way.  That courage eventually led me to travel to more places.  That courage led me to believe in myself when I felt despair.  That courage helped to expand my world.  

Courage showed me that I was more than my fears. 

Find your courage and find out the best of yourself! 

The Power of Kindness

 

Have you ever heard the story of the valedictorian who thanked their friend in their speech? 

Now, I don't know if this story is real of it its work of fiction but it's a story that is beautiful and shows how one small act of kindness can change a person's life for the better. 

The story goes something like this.  

On the first day of high school a young teen was having a rough a day.  He didn't feel like he had made any friends and was depressed and sad.  While walking back home the teenager was bullied by other students and they knocked his books out of his hands.  The teenager was heartbroken.  While he was on the ground another student walked up and helped him up and introduced himself.  This act of kindness started a friendship that lasted all through high school.  The student became more confident throughout the years with the help of his best friend and had eventually been selected as class valedictorian.  During his speech he told the story of his first day at school and how his best friend helped him when he felt he was at his lowest point.  He went on to say how one that day he was ready to go home and commit suicide, but it was the small act of kindness from his best friend that changed his mind.  

This story has always stuck with me throughout the years.  It is a reminder that our actions have a huge ripple effect that we may never know can happen.  

A quick smile can shine a small ray of positivity with someone having a bad day.

Giving a small compliment to someone can make them feel good about themselves. 

Helping a child with a hard homework problem can help them learn how to solve future problems. 

All these examples are vague and they are vague for a reason.  That's because the act of kindness is so specific but the results are always vague.  We may never know what our actions will do but that doesn't mean they aren't making a difference and it shouldn't be a reason why we should not be kind.  

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, it's the small things in life that make the most impact.  And if that small thing is done through the lens of kindness, then I believe you have increased the positive impact of that act.  

When it comes to kindness, don't think about it does.  

Kindness isn't about the result but the act itself.  

That's all that really matters. 

Life Lessons from Mr. Bean

Growing up I watched a lot of television.  One of the things I love most about television is the stories being told.   The diversity of characters on television is something is something that we have never seen before.  We can see ourselves in the characters and we can learn something about life all in a span of 30 minutes.  

One of my favorite shows growing up was Mr. Bean.  I can't remember how I first started watching it, but I randomly came upon an episode and fell in love with the show and the character immediately.   As a child, all I knew was that Mr. Bean (played wonderfully by Rowan Atkinson) was funny.  He made funny faces and was doing funny things.  Simple enough. 

A few days ago I suddenly had the urge to re-watch the series.  Does a show from the 90s still hold up today?  Absolutely!  I even found myself learning so much more about what it truly means to be happy! 

If you're not familiar with Mr. Bean, the premise is simple.  A man goes about his daily life and gets into misadventures and hilarity ensues.  Upon watching the series, I would guess that a majority of people would assume that Mr. Bean was a jerk.  I would say they are pretty accurate.  He is fairly self-centered and always thinks of himself.  Despite this, Mr. Bean is a charmingly endearing character and that's because he is a part of all of us.  A part that we are sometimes scared to show or allow ourselves to express.  As much as we cringe at the personality traits of Mr. Bean, we find ourselves being slightly envious of him. 

Mr. Bean lives life to the fullest.  He is unapologetically himself.  He never changes for anyone.  He doesn't try to be someone that he's not.  He makes every effort to be sociable and interact with colleagues (most hilariously with this girlfriend) but ends up failing miserably.  The best part is that he recognizes his failures, but he still continues living his life.  He doesn't analyze his misgivings or his personality.  I think he may be blissfully unaware of his naiveté and that probably adds to his charm.  Despite this unawareness, I believe his is fully aware of his personality and the joy that it brings to himself.  He continues to bring joy to himself no matter what.  He is unapologetically himself.   

He's probably the epitome of "the glass is always half full."  

Isn't this where we want to be in our lives?  Don't we want to be free of fear?  Free of the fear that holds us back from completing our tasks or moving forward instead of backwards?  Don't we want to find the happiness that comes from enjoying who we are and who we want to be rather than what others think?  

Don't be afraid of who you are.  Relish in those parts of you that bring you joy.  Try living your life like Mr. Bean (well except for when he's being rude 😄).