Trust is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person's actions.
- Charles Feltman
I came across this definition of trust that really stuck with me. It really puts what trust is on a personal level.
Why am I writing about trust in this blog post?
A couple of days ago I was at Sea World. As a pass member I'm giving free guest passes into the park but they do expire. My guest pass was expiring and I didn't want it to go to waste. So I went to the park and figured I could give out my pass to anyone who was interested.
Now Sea World is an expensive park. An adult ticket costs nearly 100 dollars. I thought this was going to be easy giving this ticket away.
I was wrong.
I was very particular with who I wanted to give my ticket to. I thought the free ticket would benefit someone with a large family or a single parent with their kid. The first few people I had asked were already pass members trying to redeem their free pass so no luck. As I started to ask other people, they would give me a dirty look or brush me off real quick.
Maybe my approach was wrong.
I asked if anyone wanted a free ticket but that didn't work because it was mostly pass members. So I changed my approach and asked if anyone was buying a ticket with my intention being they didn't have to buy a ticket since I had a free one. I still got looks of annoyance from people. It almost felt as if they thought I was trying to scam them or wanting to someone to buy a ticket for me. I don't think I looked shady at all. I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, a hat and sunglasses; typical for for a day at the park.
I tried for almost a half hour to give away this free ticket.
I eventually was able to give my ticket away to a family. The dad went into the park with me since I had to accompany my guest. I was telling him how I was having a difficult time giving the ticket away. I said people probably thought I was trying to scam them. His response was simply:
"No one trusts anyone anymore."
There was something so genuine about his response. What struck me more was there was no hint of bitterness or jadedness. It was simply a matter of fact.
Maybe I was a bit bitter because I was giving away a free ticket. Surely someone could trust me. I don't even look untrustworthy.
But somewhere along the way, many of us have lost our trust in people.
When did that happen? Why did that happen? Is it only strangers we don't trust or does that extend to friends, family, co-workers?
So I go back to that quote I began this post with.
Trust is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person's actions.
I think we all want to trust. When we open ourselves up to trust, we our inviting someone in. We all crave that human connection and trust is how we do that.
We are taking something we value, something that makes up who we are and we are trusting that person with it. We trust they won't use it against us. We trust they won't ruin it. We trust they will treat it with care and respect.
Trust is actually easy to give but even easier to break. I think this is where the bitterness and jadedness come in. Time and time again trust is given but then its broken.
Maybe a friend told a secret by accident. Maybe a family member forgot to pick you up from a party. Maybe your staff member forgot to show up to their shift. There are so many micro events that build up and create distrust.
My hope is that we can learn to build up our trust again. If someone loses our trust, it doesn't mean we can't trust again. Every circumstance is different. Every person is different. We don't have to be distrustful of other people. We just have to learn and have faith in ourselves so that our resilience can still show us that we can still trust.
