Attention Management

Time Management.  It’s a struggle to many people. To help with time management, the most common technique is to use the calendar system, breaking it up with a monthly, weekly and daily calendar. Then prioritizing activities into your schedule, narrowing it down to most to least urgent. And for many people, this works. It creates a structured way to use their time wisely. 

 When I worked in higher education, I provided this same information to student leaders during student leader training. This was valuable information they could use and this was valuable information that rarely changed. Sometimes I would update the information but nothing that would drastically change the information. 

A few months ago, I decided to look up time management and see if there was anything and interesting that others have successfully tried. This was when I came upon something called “attention management.”

Attention management is a new way at looking at time management. It’s not about managing your time, but rather paying attention to the time you are given. 

I’m sure the one thing that most of us realize when we practice time management, is that we don’t really plan for distractions. 

 Distractions are the enemy of time management. They move us off track and in the process it demotivates us.  

Attention management challenges us to work around that instead of our time. 

Take notice of how long it takes you to work, to concentrate. How long before you end up being distracted? 

This is where you use that time to your advantage. 

Don’t tell yourself that you’re going to write a report in one hour. Without time constraints, write as much as you can at your most optimal performance and when you’re done, stop. That’s how long it takes for you to be most effective with your time. That’s how long it takes before you become distracted. 

 Try it out. See how much you’re able to accomplish in your own time. You might just learn more about your limits.

Following Your Passions

I don't think anyone should have just one passion.  Although I do believe if you decide to have more than one passion that it should be one where you can still put all your energy into the others while still keeping the quality in tact.  

I spent the past year working to create my Life Coaching Practice.  I worked on it until I realized that I wasn't working as hard on it anymore.  I had been working on it for so long that I was losing steam.  In order for me to keep that energy going, I needed to stop and take care of myself and feed my other passion.

This led me back to theater.    

While starting my Life Coaching practice, I was also in the middle of starting a theater company with a few friends.  One of my roles in this company was to work in theater education, providing acting to children from underserved populations.  I spent an entire month at an elementary school teaching theater while also acting as director the kids' first ever theatrical production.  I worked every day for one month with these kids.  It was tiring.  It was stressful.  But I was happy.  After over a year of theater being taken away (thank you, COVID), I needed to feed my soul.  And theater is what my soul was hungry for.   

It's also exciting because after over a year I have finally been cast in a show - a play to be exact.  I haven't been in a play since my sophomore year of high school!  

Which passion should you follow?  

You should follow the passion that makes you happy.  

Yes, it's that simple.  

You do the thing that brings you joy in your life.  It's also very normal for someone to need to take a break from it.  Being passionate about something doesn't really mean you have to love it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Think of it like dinner... sometimes you just don't want to eat the same thing every night.  You switch it up and after a while your palate will be cleansed and then you'll be hungry for more.  

Passions are what drive us and keep us motivated.  They feed our souls.  They are what define us and shape us.  They bring balance into our lives.  

Don't forget your passions.  

 

Wanderlust

 So I've been having a case of the wanderlust lately. 

I'm not sure if it is intensifying as the world starts to get back to normal and people can start traveling again, or if it's because I just need to travel. 

I'm sure it's probably a combination of both, well probably more because I need to travel.  

Actually, let me put it differently.  I want to travel. 

I was talking to someone recently and telling them how much I want to travel.  And I don't mean a vacation - I mean traveling!  

I went on my first real traveling adventure much later in life than I would have hoped.  I went to Europe in my mid-30s.  

That trip changed my life.  I got to see and actually experience the world instead of watching travel programs on television.  I walked in the historical footsteps of a time and era long gone but its remnants still remain.  Being in another country, all by myself, was a truly humbling and overwhelmingly beautiful experience. I learned so much about myself.  While I pushed my boundaries and limits, I learned what I was capable of.   I returned refreshed and happier and had an improved positive outlook on life.  I returned a different person. 

It was that jolt of energy that I needed and was missing from my life. 

I know that traveling isn't such an easy option for many people.  For me to tell you to travel would be a huge disservice.  So I won't.     

But I do want to encourage you to feed that part of your life.  Feed that need to experience new things.  It doesn't have to be done through travelling.  Find local experiences that can feed that desire to open your mind to new possibilities.  Read a book about a country or culture you don't know anything about.  Go to a restaurant that serves food you're not used to.  Learn a new language just for fun.  

Life gives us so many opportunities and experiences that we don't know are there because we sometimes choose to not see them or we forget that it's there.  

And if you ever do have the opportunity to travel, take it!  I leave you with the quote down below.   

The Path Less Traveled Part 2

I was halfway through this blog post when I decided to start all over again.  As I was writing it, the post felt so familiar.  I started to see similarities between what I was writing to my previous post about taking the path less traveled.  

I guess that means I had a lot more to say about the topic than I realized. 

When I started these motivational and life coaching blogs, I knew this wasn't going to be easy for me.  I even mentioned that in my blog about starting these posts!   

In fact, you can say that these blog posts are the path less traveled for me. 

It's been about three weeks since I started these posts and there are days when I struggle to write something.  It feels like I'm on this path but I don't know where I'm going.  The truth is that I am going somewhere.  I just don't know where.  I just know the journey and the adventure of the newness of it all is what drives me through my path.  These blog posts are definitely testing my resilience and my strength but I know that in the end I'll be much better for it. 

The most difficult thing about writing these posts is knowing that there are hundreds of other life coaches out there.  And not only are there life coaches, but there are even hundreds more counselors, therapists, psychiatrists and even social media influencers who are putting out there motivational posts and videos  There is no shortage of people offering their guidance and advice. 

What makes me different?  What should make someone listen to me? 

The answer is clear.  

There is only one me.  

That me is the person that people are drawn to.  It's not just my education that makes me someone worth knowing and listening to, but it's my own experiences.  

It's the stories that I share that make me unique.  

It is my stories that let people know that as a life coach I'm not infallible.  

It is my stories that show others it is possible to move forward in life.  

It is my stories that show that it is ok to be different or to feel different.  

It is my stories that show that as rough or horrible life may seem, there is always hope. 

It is my stories that show that in darkness there is always light. 

I'm not just telling you how to live.  I would never want to tell you how to do so. 

I'm showing you that it is possible to live.

That's the path that I'm on.  

 

Break Me Off a Piece of That Humble Pie

Before I start this blog, here is a link about the original of humble pie. 

https://culinarylore.com/food-history:eating-humble-pie/

It's quite fascinating and definitely unique!

Whenever I talk about leadership, I always go over what qualities make a good leader.  There's always one quality that I always look for in a leader and one that I hold higher than most.  Actually, it's also a quality that I generally look for in people.

Humility

Actually, I have to mention accountability as well.  I don't quite view them as interchangeable but rather complements to each other.  I feel that one can't exist without the other. 

What is it about someone who doesn't lack humility?  For many people it is such a huge turn off.  It takes the ugliest part of a person inside and amplifies it.  It externalizes an internal trait.  I guess this is where narcissism starts to appear. 

We need to transition from narcissism to self-confidence.  There is nothing wrong with self-confidence.  We all need that.  It's the only way that we can increase our resilience and become successful.  But when self-confidence turns into an ego it then starts to turn into no humility.  It's definitely a fine balancing act.  

Self-confidence is having faith and trust in yourself.  It's becoming a stronger person inside while also being empathetic to others around you.  It means having the ability to affect positive growth and change in other people. It's knowing that what you can do for yourself you can also do for other people.  This is the foundation of humility.   

Ego on the other hand is self-centeredness.  There is no thought or consideration of other people.  Unlike self-confidence, the focus is solely on you and what you can do for yourself and what people can do for you.  There is no reciprocation. 

There's a saying that a little humility goes a long way.

I'm gonna have to agree with that. 

The Path Less Traveled

Think about how often you listen to that voice inside your head.  

Now think about a time when life was uncertain.  It can be about anything.  Trying new food.  Visiting a new country.  Asking that person out. 

Now think about what that voice usually tells you to do in times like this.    

Does the voice encourage you and your curiosity?  

Does the voice restrain you from exploring and keep you in your safe bubble? 

Is it keeping you from harm or actually doing more harm to you? 

It's offering you the red or blue pill (purely a Matrix reference!).  Which one are you going to take? 

Many times our voice acts as our lookout.  It's protecting us and that's a good thing... well that is until it becomes an obstacle to our growth.  This is how we sometimes find ourselves in a rut.  Stuck and unable to move.  

How does one get out of that rut? 

Well... you can start by taking the path less traveled.   

What does that really mean exactly? 

Taking the path less traveled is really just about opening your mind to the limitless possibilities of this world.  Allowing yourself to feel a variety emotions and seeing how two opposing emotions can create a sense of adventure.  

It means allowing yourself to understand that with the risk of fear, comes the excitement of the wonder of new possibilities.  

It means letting go of the irrational beliefs that we sometimes hold to be true and finally realize that those irrational beliefs are exactly that - irrational.  And that sometimes we force untruths on ourselves in order to keep our status quo and feel safe.  

So I challenge you to take that leap of faith in yourself.  Listen to that voice that encourages curiosity and wonder.  Travel down that exciting road that you've never taken before. 

You just might see the world in a whole new light! 

It's Pronounced Bur-tah-nog

I thought I would do something a bit different for this blog post. 

If any of you are on social media, then I suggest looking up #LeavingLASA. 

I won’t go into the entire detail, I highly suggest you read about this hashtag and the movement it started in the Los Angeles Theatre Community. 

 To make a long story very short, it involves an Asian actor who was nominated for an acting award in Los Angeles. Her name was mispronounced and to make matter worse, it wasn’t her picture that was displayed. It was that of her other Asian co-star. 

If any of you are reading this blog post in April of 2021, then you’ll know there has been a rise of attacks on Asians over the past few weeks, especially on the elderly. Hate crimes against Asians didn’t just start happening over night. They’ve been around for years, it’s just that it’s now more visible and prevalent than ever. 

With this mis-pronunciation of an Asian name, its just another reminder of how our culture is sometimes disrespected and set to the side and reminds me of the experiences with my last name.  

I have always felt that my last name is not difficult to pronounce. Yet more times than not, it’s usually mispronounced. Annoyance and anger are generally the first emotions I feel. I’m annoyed they couldn’t pronounce it but I’m also mad at their level of reading skills because it’s so simple to sound out the letters of my name. Surely they know how to sound out letters and words. It's not hard.  Then there’s the people who try to pronounce my name with an accent, like having an accent would make you say it any better. It’s pretty insulting. 

Over the years it’s gotten better. Some people ask how it’s pronounced before even attempting it. Others just straight up butcher it and I’m upset because there wasn’t a single attempt at trying to get it right and even when I correct them there is no apology. At one point my parents refused to talk to people who couldn’t say our last name correctly because they found it disrespectful. 

We are going to meet so many people in our lives and first impressions mean everything – I’m sure all of you have been told that. I can’t tell you how surprised and impressed I am when people say my last name correctly. Or how I feel respected when someone attempts and asks for a correction. That says a lot about a person. I see someone who is respectful of other cultures. I see someone who is willing to learn something new. I see acceptance. I don’t see ignorance. 

It’s amazing how a simple pronunciation of a word can change how you view a person. We are always going to run into a difficult name to pronounce, but we shouldn’t approach it with fear. Fear of insult or disrespect. Just approach it with a curiosity to broaden your horizons. It’s amazing how far that can take you.