The Power of Kindness

 

Have you ever heard the story of the valedictorian who thanked their friend in their speech? 

Now, I don't know if this story is real of it its work of fiction but it's a story that is beautiful and shows how one small act of kindness can change a person's life for the better. 

The story goes something like this.  

On the first day of high school a young teen was having a rough a day.  He didn't feel like he had made any friends and was depressed and sad.  While walking back home the teenager was bullied by other students and they knocked his books out of his hands.  The teenager was heartbroken.  While he was on the ground another student walked up and helped him up and introduced himself.  This act of kindness started a friendship that lasted all through high school.  The student became more confident throughout the years with the help of his best friend and had eventually been selected as class valedictorian.  During his speech he told the story of his first day at school and how his best friend helped him when he felt he was at his lowest point.  He went on to say how one that day he was ready to go home and commit suicide, but it was the small act of kindness from his best friend that changed his mind.  

This story has always stuck with me throughout the years.  It is a reminder that our actions have a huge ripple effect that we may never know can happen.  

A quick smile can shine a small ray of positivity with someone having a bad day.

Giving a small compliment to someone can make them feel good about themselves. 

Helping a child with a hard homework problem can help them learn how to solve future problems. 

All these examples are vague and they are vague for a reason.  That's because the act of kindness is so specific but the results are always vague.  We may never know what our actions will do but that doesn't mean they aren't making a difference and it shouldn't be a reason why we should not be kind.  

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, it's the small things in life that make the most impact.  And if that small thing is done through the lens of kindness, then I believe you have increased the positive impact of that act.  

When it comes to kindness, don't think about it does.  

Kindness isn't about the result but the act itself.  

That's all that really matters. 

Life Lessons from Mr. Bean

Growing up I watched a lot of television.  One of the things I love most about television is the stories being told.   The diversity of characters on television is something is something that we have never seen before.  We can see ourselves in the characters and we can learn something about life all in a span of 30 minutes.  

One of my favorite shows growing up was Mr. Bean.  I can't remember how I first started watching it, but I randomly came upon an episode and fell in love with the show and the character immediately.   As a child, all I knew was that Mr. Bean (played wonderfully by Rowan Atkinson) was funny.  He made funny faces and was doing funny things.  Simple enough. 

A few days ago I suddenly had the urge to re-watch the series.  Does a show from the 90s still hold up today?  Absolutely!  I even found myself learning so much more about what it truly means to be happy! 

If you're not familiar with Mr. Bean, the premise is simple.  A man goes about his daily life and gets into misadventures and hilarity ensues.  Upon watching the series, I would guess that a majority of people would assume that Mr. Bean was a jerk.  I would say they are pretty accurate.  He is fairly self-centered and always thinks of himself.  Despite this, Mr. Bean is a charmingly endearing character and that's because he is a part of all of us.  A part that we are sometimes scared to show or allow ourselves to express.  As much as we cringe at the personality traits of Mr. Bean, we find ourselves being slightly envious of him. 

Mr. Bean lives life to the fullest.  He is unapologetically himself.  He never changes for anyone.  He doesn't try to be someone that he's not.  He makes every effort to be sociable and interact with colleagues (most hilariously with this girlfriend) but ends up failing miserably.  The best part is that he recognizes his failures, but he still continues living his life.  He doesn't analyze his misgivings or his personality.  I think he may be blissfully unaware of his naiveté and that probably adds to his charm.  Despite this unawareness, I believe his is fully aware of his personality and the joy that it brings to himself.  He continues to bring joy to himself no matter what.  He is unapologetically himself.   

He's probably the epitome of "the glass is always half full."  

Isn't this where we want to be in our lives?  Don't we want to be free of fear?  Free of the fear that holds us back from completing our tasks or moving forward instead of backwards?  Don't we want to find the happiness that comes from enjoying who we are and who we want to be rather than what others think?  

Don't be afraid of who you are.  Relish in those parts of you that bring you joy.  Try living your life like Mr. Bean (well except for when he's being rude 😄).   

 

Attention Management

Time Management.  It’s a struggle to many people. To help with time management, the most common technique is to use the calendar system, breaking it up with a monthly, weekly and daily calendar. Then prioritizing activities into your schedule, narrowing it down to most to least urgent. And for many people, this works. It creates a structured way to use their time wisely. 

 When I worked in higher education, I provided this same information to student leaders during student leader training. This was valuable information they could use and this was valuable information that rarely changed. Sometimes I would update the information but nothing that would drastically change the information. 

A few months ago, I decided to look up time management and see if there was anything and interesting that others have successfully tried. This was when I came upon something called “attention management.”

Attention management is a new way at looking at time management. It’s not about managing your time, but rather paying attention to the time you are given. 

I’m sure the one thing that most of us realize when we practice time management, is that we don’t really plan for distractions. 

 Distractions are the enemy of time management. They move us off track and in the process it demotivates us.  

Attention management challenges us to work around that instead of our time. 

Take notice of how long it takes you to work, to concentrate. How long before you end up being distracted? 

This is where you use that time to your advantage. 

Don’t tell yourself that you’re going to write a report in one hour. Without time constraints, write as much as you can at your most optimal performance and when you’re done, stop. That’s how long it takes for you to be most effective with your time. That’s how long it takes before you become distracted. 

 Try it out. See how much you’re able to accomplish in your own time. You might just learn more about your limits.

Following Your Passions

I don't think anyone should have just one passion.  Although I do believe if you decide to have more than one passion that it should be one where you can still put all your energy into the others while still keeping the quality in tact.  

I spent the past year working to create my Life Coaching Practice.  I worked on it until I realized that I wasn't working as hard on it anymore.  I had been working on it for so long that I was losing steam.  In order for me to keep that energy going, I needed to stop and take care of myself and feed my other passion.

This led me back to theater.    

While starting my Life Coaching practice, I was also in the middle of starting a theater company with a few friends.  One of my roles in this company was to work in theater education, providing acting to children from underserved populations.  I spent an entire month at an elementary school teaching theater while also acting as director the kids' first ever theatrical production.  I worked every day for one month with these kids.  It was tiring.  It was stressful.  But I was happy.  After over a year of theater being taken away (thank you, COVID), I needed to feed my soul.  And theater is what my soul was hungry for.   

It's also exciting because after over a year I have finally been cast in a show - a play to be exact.  I haven't been in a play since my sophomore year of high school!  

Which passion should you follow?  

You should follow the passion that makes you happy.  

Yes, it's that simple.  

You do the thing that brings you joy in your life.  It's also very normal for someone to need to take a break from it.  Being passionate about something doesn't really mean you have to love it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Think of it like dinner... sometimes you just don't want to eat the same thing every night.  You switch it up and after a while your palate will be cleansed and then you'll be hungry for more.  

Passions are what drive us and keep us motivated.  They feed our souls.  They are what define us and shape us.  They bring balance into our lives.  

Don't forget your passions.  

 

Wanderlust

 So I've been having a case of the wanderlust lately. 

I'm not sure if it is intensifying as the world starts to get back to normal and people can start traveling again, or if it's because I just need to travel. 

I'm sure it's probably a combination of both, well probably more because I need to travel.  

Actually, let me put it differently.  I want to travel. 

I was talking to someone recently and telling them how much I want to travel.  And I don't mean a vacation - I mean traveling!  

I went on my first real traveling adventure much later in life than I would have hoped.  I went to Europe in my mid-30s.  

That trip changed my life.  I got to see and actually experience the world instead of watching travel programs on television.  I walked in the historical footsteps of a time and era long gone but its remnants still remain.  Being in another country, all by myself, was a truly humbling and overwhelmingly beautiful experience. I learned so much about myself.  While I pushed my boundaries and limits, I learned what I was capable of.   I returned refreshed and happier and had an improved positive outlook on life.  I returned a different person. 

It was that jolt of energy that I needed and was missing from my life. 

I know that traveling isn't such an easy option for many people.  For me to tell you to travel would be a huge disservice.  So I won't.     

But I do want to encourage you to feed that part of your life.  Feed that need to experience new things.  It doesn't have to be done through travelling.  Find local experiences that can feed that desire to open your mind to new possibilities.  Read a book about a country or culture you don't know anything about.  Go to a restaurant that serves food you're not used to.  Learn a new language just for fun.  

Life gives us so many opportunities and experiences that we don't know are there because we sometimes choose to not see them or we forget that it's there.  

And if you ever do have the opportunity to travel, take it!  I leave you with the quote down below.   

The Path Less Traveled Part 2

I was halfway through this blog post when I decided to start all over again.  As I was writing it, the post felt so familiar.  I started to see similarities between what I was writing to my previous post about taking the path less traveled.  

I guess that means I had a lot more to say about the topic than I realized. 

When I started these motivational and life coaching blogs, I knew this wasn't going to be easy for me.  I even mentioned that in my blog about starting these posts!   

In fact, you can say that these blog posts are the path less traveled for me. 

It's been about three weeks since I started these posts and there are days when I struggle to write something.  It feels like I'm on this path but I don't know where I'm going.  The truth is that I am going somewhere.  I just don't know where.  I just know the journey and the adventure of the newness of it all is what drives me through my path.  These blog posts are definitely testing my resilience and my strength but I know that in the end I'll be much better for it. 

The most difficult thing about writing these posts is knowing that there are hundreds of other life coaches out there.  And not only are there life coaches, but there are even hundreds more counselors, therapists, psychiatrists and even social media influencers who are putting out there motivational posts and videos  There is no shortage of people offering their guidance and advice. 

What makes me different?  What should make someone listen to me? 

The answer is clear.  

There is only one me.  

That me is the person that people are drawn to.  It's not just my education that makes me someone worth knowing and listening to, but it's my own experiences.  

It's the stories that I share that make me unique.  

It is my stories that let people know that as a life coach I'm not infallible.  

It is my stories that show others it is possible to move forward in life.  

It is my stories that show that it is ok to be different or to feel different.  

It is my stories that show that as rough or horrible life may seem, there is always hope. 

It is my stories that show that in darkness there is always light. 

I'm not just telling you how to live.  I would never want to tell you how to do so. 

I'm showing you that it is possible to live.

That's the path that I'm on.  

 

Break Me Off a Piece of That Humble Pie

Before I start this blog, here is a link about the original of humble pie. 

https://culinarylore.com/food-history:eating-humble-pie/

It's quite fascinating and definitely unique!

Whenever I talk about leadership, I always go over what qualities make a good leader.  There's always one quality that I always look for in a leader and one that I hold higher than most.  Actually, it's also a quality that I generally look for in people.

Humility

Actually, I have to mention accountability as well.  I don't quite view them as interchangeable but rather complements to each other.  I feel that one can't exist without the other. 

What is it about someone who doesn't lack humility?  For many people it is such a huge turn off.  It takes the ugliest part of a person inside and amplifies it.  It externalizes an internal trait.  I guess this is where narcissism starts to appear. 

We need to transition from narcissism to self-confidence.  There is nothing wrong with self-confidence.  We all need that.  It's the only way that we can increase our resilience and become successful.  But when self-confidence turns into an ego it then starts to turn into no humility.  It's definitely a fine balancing act.  

Self-confidence is having faith and trust in yourself.  It's becoming a stronger person inside while also being empathetic to others around you.  It means having the ability to affect positive growth and change in other people. It's knowing that what you can do for yourself you can also do for other people.  This is the foundation of humility.   

Ego on the other hand is self-centeredness.  There is no thought or consideration of other people.  Unlike self-confidence, the focus is solely on you and what you can do for yourself and what people can do for you.  There is no reciprocation. 

There's a saying that a little humility goes a long way.

I'm gonna have to agree with that.